The J word

November 14, 2009 I began a relationship with a boy named Joe. Ah, Joe. He was my best friend. We had everything in common and we had the most fun together. Somewhere along the way I fell in love. Most people say that your first love is a sweet experience. Mine started that way, but it did not end that way. I honestly didn't know it was possible to be as happy as I was. I didnt know that I was ever going to have someone love me back, and he did. Every single day was like a holiday. I had never been so happy. Somewhere along the way, if not the whole time, he started lying to me. And four months later we broke up. I broke up with him, because I was forced and a few short days later I was told that I was never loved in the first place, kinda a smack in the face. Then, I didnt know it was possible to be that hurt. To the point where you are continually asking God to just take your life, because you wonder if anything is real or is everything just a lie? March - April is just a big blur, I dont remember anything. I don't know if pain erased it all from my memory if I just force myself to forget. But I was pretty upset all the way till October. Then I heard a boy sing. His name was Justin Bieber. His words were so full of life and truth, and reminded me of the way things were when I was with Joe, the big huge hole in my heart was beginning to be filled. And by November I didnt love Joe anymore. People make fun of me, and people hate on me for liking Justin Bieber, but he pretty much made me me again, thats why I feel so strongly about him. You hate on him its like you are hating on Joe. So to this day Joe will always be a small little part of my heart that I dont think will ever be filled, but I dont mind that its not filled as long as I'm content in who I am. I'm so thankful that I even was able to experience love, and I pray that one day God will give me another chance.