Idk??

 What happens when you fall in love with someone who you are 'just friends' with. For lack of a better word this feeling that I have can only be called love.. or infatuation. I feel love toward many people but for you I get this excitement. I want it to happen so badly, and every time you text me my heart just about beats out of my chest. But when I see you I don't think you feel the same. So, I kinda love you. I think you kinda love me.

We should just let this happen.

My Life- In a Nutshell

Well, my life has been KINDAAAA crazy here lately. School is great. I really do love it. I feel like college is so different from highschool, and it is the same in a way too. I feel like of course there are days when I definitely don't want to be there, but those are less often than when they were in highschool. There is so much less amounts of drama .Of course you have the hoebagels that are running around talking about what they wore to prom... STILL.. but the majority of the people I go to school with are extremely nice people. 


I am in TWO choir classes. Yeah. Alot. It's weird but I feel like I crave this sort of attention all the time. It's like I want to constantly sing for people. If I'm not singing, I'm usually not happy. Most of my life revolves around music now. Which I don't mind AT ALL. I love it. I spend four out of five school days in choir and music classes so it is really great.


I have a new love. Three new loves actually, and their names are Il Volo. Piero Barone, Gianluca Ginoble, and Ignazio Boschetto. Three beautiful Italian teenage boys who I have had the pleasure to meet. This whole thing with Il Volo was kind of done on a whim. I saw the boys music video a few months back and thought aw those guys are cute, and then at school my music teacher played the music video.. and my heart melted. Oh my gosh their voices. They sound literally like angels. Like a voice sent from God. They are beautiful. Well, the next few days I really got into listening to Il Volo and I went online and found their website. The boys were started a tour just two weeks after the date I was online. I bought meet & greet tickets. After barely knowing them. I had heard 'O Sole Mio' and 'Smile' and that was enough. I loved these boys and I had to meet them. I spent $215 on a ticket and took off and had the best time of my entire life. Now, I spend my time at nights talking to other Il Volo fans and praying for the day I will be able to meet them again.


I need to sing. I feel like my body was built to sing. I was born to sing. My voice is meant to be heard. I don't want to sing to be famous. I don't want to even be rich, I just want to spend my life doing the thing that makes me the most happy. When I was at the Il Volo concert and I watched Gianluca close his eyes as he belted out the most magnificent tenor note I saw passion on his face. I saw joy, and I saw the same longing I have. And, at that moment I knew that that was what I wanted to do. I have wanted to do it for a long time but, this whole experience made it so surreal for me.


I've been so blessed to live the life that I have been given. So many times I take advantage of the things I have or the things I have done, and I have realized just how lucky I am. I don't want to be selfish. So, I've been trying this. Everytime I feel like I want to complain about something I think.' Is this really worth complaining about or is this something I could look at in a positive way and be happy with it" I will fail. I already have, but I just want to be a thankful person.


I have pledged that I would five $5 to my church everyweek. That dosn't sound like much but I am already struggling to make that payment. I pray that this will give me discipline and it will help the churches needs.


I also have begun a diet. This isn't a lose weight diet for me, this is a get healthy diet. I'm so tired of walking and being tired after it. I want to be able to walk where I want to go. RUN, in the mornings. Be physically active every chance I can get. I want to change the way I have been living. Throughout the month of october I started counting calories. I try to stay below 1200 a day. I want to be healthy so bad.


I fell as thought I haven't written in years. I'll try to write more than I have been.


Io ti amo.
Peace

Thankful

I'm thankful for my country

I'm thankful that I'm free

I'm thankful for the ones who died

To make our nation supreme

I'm thankful for my soldier

I'm thankful for what he does

I'm thankful hes giving his time to his country

I'm thankful for his love

I'm thankful for the ones who suffered

I'm thankful for the ones who cried

I'm thankful for all the things they do

And for all they have sacrificed

But most of all I'm thankful

For that flag that's flying high

I'm thankful for the hope it shares

And the courage it supplies

A,


I dont know what I feel for you. I dont even know if I like you, I just know that I thought you might be one thing I could have had that she didn't. Isnt that stupid? But, I feel like I've lived my whole life in her shadow, and for once I thought I had something that she couldn't have. I've only had two people pick me over her, and I really wish you would have been one too. I don't know why I have to make everything into a competition with her. Its not even really about her its about you. I cant stand to see you talk to her. Or, any other girl. And, that makes me wonder if I really do care for you. I know you dont care for me, but I wish so badly that you did. I can imagine what your hand would feel like wrapped around mine. Or what your lips would feel like on mine, but when I see you I think. 'aw theres my buddy' but when your gone, I just keep this longing feeling in my heart, I wonder what this is? Could I love you? Could you love me? I dont know anymore.


R

Whats happening?

Why does everything have to change? I feel like I could say I hate you right now. Why do people spend their lives trying to destroy other peoples? What am I supposed to do now? I'm so lost. I need someone to help me. I dont want to get stuck in that hole again.

I think, I love.

I think I love him. I feel like I love him, I have that little scared feeling in my stomach. Like I'm about to go on a rollercoaster. Kind of like what I had with Joe. But, I just feel like why do I let myself fall in love with people and as soon as I realize I am. I have that person taken away. It's not fair. That all these people are always trying to take them away. He was MY friend before he was yours, He like ME before he liked you, YOU lied to me, YOU told me you hated me, and HE took up for me. now you're trying to take him away?? What if I really do love him? 

today

Today I feel just depressed. Last night was one of the worst nights I have had in a long time. Me, Alaina, Angel, and Joe were on the phone, Alaina and Angel thought that it would be funny to pretend they werent on the phone so they could listen to what me and Joe were saying. So, Alaina said that Angle got disconnected and that she was going to hang up and call her then call us back, so we said ok and bye and then we started talking, well we talked for about 5-6 minutes and then I accidentally called Joe Jordan. Well, then Joe was like 'um no' and he said it in a way like, idk it sounded like he didnt like Jordan so I asked him if he did, and he was like ' I dont really know him' and I said 'He gets on my everloving nerves.' and then alaina pipes up ' OH REALLY NOW?!" and then  all heck broke loose. She told me she hated me I was crying Joe was freaking out, Angel was being quiet but then she was really rude the next day and everything just makes me so stressed out. I just feel betrayed. How can someone sit on the phone and listen to other people talk for like 5 minutes. That is so rude and selfish and uncalled for. What if I had something I really needed to tell just Joe? Well than evesdroppers would have heard it. I'm just sick and tired of being taken advantage of. Alaina and Angel like Joe. Alaina and Angel think Joe likes me. Alaina and Angel threw me under a bus for a boy.That is so mean, and it makes me feel like crying. I can almost promise you that neither of them would marry Joe Shelton, but I can promise you that if they hadn't lied to me we could've been friends forever. I just don't get why someone would want to throw a friendship away. Now, I feel like they are trying to take Joe away from me. I cant stand the thought of losing Joe. He's my best friend in the whole world and if they take him away what am I going to do?

James

When I was in tenth grade, in the middle of the school year there was a new boy at school. I remember the day he came to school, and I remember that I wanted to go to school so badly that day but my sister was sick so i decided to stay home. I went to school the next day and I met James Richardson. 


I know you think this is lame but that day was the day that my life changed forever. That was the day I was introduced to the first boy I would ever love. He was such a great guy. He was hilarious he was sweet he was cute and he was nice to my parents. 


I remember the night I really started liking him. I was working at dairy queen at the time. It was my very first job, and my sister worked there, and I had helped my friend Carlie get a job there. That night I got to work with  Rebecca and Carlie. That only happened once, haha, and we were all having a blast, then I hear somebody say 'Rachel somebody wants to talk to you in the drive through,' I look over and it's James and his dad. I remember it like it was yesterday. He was like 'hey! I didnt know you worked here how are you?!" you know he was really nice, and then Rebecca and Carlie went to talk to him. Rebecca and Carlie both asked me if I liked him and I told them I didnt know. I thought he was cute.


Then the next day at school me and Carlie were walking around and James was like " hey Rachel, I saw you last night! That was some really good ice cream!" and he didnt say a word to Carlie. That was the first time Carlie hadnt stole the scene. It seemed like my whole life I was living in Carlie's shadow, and James talked to ME and not her. Even just that simple thing made me feel so special. 


Then it turned into something more. We were friends but not really good friends. I was too shy to reallly talk to him and he was too shy to talk to me. We went on a school trip together, and I remember my mom telling me that I needed to pray for him and then one night I just broke down and started crying I wanted James to be saved so badly. That's when I knew I loved him.


Its such a strange thing love. And, although it never really worked out with me and James I'm thankful for the experience. He was such a great guy. I just wish that I hadn' t ruined what little chance I had at being with James Richardson.

Today I feel like a lonely cloud. Like the sky is completely empty except for one cloud, and thats me. I'm all alone, and all I have left are the memories of better days. Is that lame? I don't know. Really all of this started when we got a new guy at work, and he looked just like Joe, well he looked like him everywhere but his face. Now, I'm not a freak where I just stare at peoples bodies but I walked past the front and saw him sitting out in the lobby, except I thought it was Joe, not the new guy. He was sitting in a chair, the exact same way Joe used to sit. My heart was about to beat out of my chest. So, when we started to work I was talking to the guy, he talks like Joe, hes about the same height Joe was he has the same elbows, same big feet, same everything. Then it started this annoying thing all over again. I just started thinking about Joe, not like I was longing for him but, I was just thinking about him, and us, and what we used to be, then it turned into longing. I thought, you know, this will pass, its just because I saw that guy, but then I couldnt stop thinking about him. I saw someone I thought was him, and yesterday I had a dream about him. I dont know what this is, probably nothing, probably just missing what I used to have, but here lately I've been missing my Joe alot.

another letter I'll never send

I dont think about you often. But, when I do, I cant stop. I miss you sometimes, well alot of times. And, I cant help but think what life would be like if we had ever fixed things. I imagine that right now I would be talking to you on the phone laughing at the funny things you would say. Or, that I would still have butterflies from the last time I saw you and I would be counting down the hours until the next time. Sometimes, I really just feel lonely and when I feel like I want to talk to someone, you are usually the first person that pops into my head. I wonder when the pain will ever completely stop, or will I always have a little part in my heart that aches for you. Sometimes I think about texting you from a random number just to see how you're doing, but then my heart beats so fast I can barely hear my thoughts. Its amazing how I'm scared to talk to someone that I once spent hours at a time talking to. I wonder who you are now, what things you like, what words do you say. Who your friends are and if you ever think about me. And, every now and then I will write one of these letters just to get feelings like this off my chest. Even though I feel worse after writing them, I write them anyway and naively hope that something good will come out of it. Sometimes I sit and try to remember what it sounded like when you said my name. I wonder if your voice is the same. Probably not. Maybe this isnt even a letter this is just a journal that Im directing at you. Then I think about what you would say if you actually read this. "what an idiot." or " i hate that girl" or "there goes that desperate girl again". then I think about all the nice things you used to say to me. I wonder if you remember our things or stuff we used to say, or plans that we had. I wonder if I will ever see you again. And, what will I do when I do see you. I imagine different things everytime I think about it, but more than likely I will cry or run off before you could see me. So, who knows what the heck this is, I dont even know if any of this makes any sense. I guess its just me.. talking to myself, I dont know. 

Life

Well, now that schools over I figured that it would just be this feeling of distinct freedom in me, at least thats how they make it seem on movies and everything. But, now that schools over, I'm just... bored. I know, isnt that lame?? I'm really nervous about college though. I'm so scared I'm going to show up to school on the first day and my teachers will hate me or they wont think I sing well in choir class, I'm really scared.. haha But, I guess that's what's normal. I dont really know... 

LAST BLOG :'(

What a year. what a year. This year has been amazing. I never thought I would like being homeschooled. Never in my whole life did I think that I would make friends with people that I didnt go to church with. This past year has just been a year of change and It has been a good change. I'm so thankful God placed homeschooling in my life and all of the wonderful people I've met in my life. Thank the LORD for this year.

two is better than one

"I remember what you wore on that first day you came into my life and I thought hey you know this could be something." Thats one of my favorite lines from a song. I love love love that song too. It reminds me of a young love that I had. And even though the title is two is better than one. thats not true you dont need to be in a relationship to be happy. I'm happier than I've ever been and I'M SINGLE. 

3 things

3 things I love ; youtube. I'm pretty sure I spend the most of my time on the internet on youtube. Youtube is an amazing outlet. Its a way to express yourself and just be yourself, and it dosnt matter if no one watches its there and thats amazing in itself. noodles: I'm pretty sure I'm obssessed with noodles they are like the best food thing EVER. Bieber: i dont even think I need to say anything ;)
m 

LURVE

Lets talk about the "l' word.boo LOVE I know everyones least favorite subject. Love is the most complicated thing. love is the most hectic emotion love is the most wonderful thing and its sad and its bad and good and AHH SO MANY THINGS. Love  is what makes the world around. As the Beatles once said "All you need is love."

5 left

Wow I have five blogs left. That's so crazy. I know something as simple as blogs shouldnt make me so emotional but I HAVE FIVE BLOGS LEFT! wowww. its so weird to think I'm that close to the end of school that close to the end of my blogs that close to the end of HIGHSCHOOL. ahh bliss

# 6

my favorite number in the whole world is number 6. IDK I think its because it was my moms favorite number or maybe I just like that number, idk it is a good number lol and it has always been lucky for me. So next time when someone asks you to pick a number between one and ten pick:)

GUESS WHAT?! I'm going to FLORIDA! i'm so excited. me and Carlie are going for our senior trip, and I'm so so so so so excited. We get to go shopping and swimming and shopping and shopping and shopping. AHHHHH! so excited and then when we come back that next weekend I'm graduating it is going to be the best week ever! 

ACT ... again.

I'm pretty sure taking the ACT is the most boring experience any one in the world can go through, and now I've had to take it twice. BLUHHH. Yesterday's test was so much better than last times, because this time I took it at the college I am going to next year which was pretty cool, and there was only 8 kids there this time, where last time there was at least 30 per room. Yesterday I had to do the writing part too, it wasnt that hard though, so it shouldnt be that bad. Last year I got above average in everything and this year it seemed a bit easier.

blogging

blogging has been somewhat of a blessing for me. I've been able to release everything I'm feeling into a blog. I think its healthy to release emotions, because if you have too many blocked up inside it is not good. So thank you, Mrs Keaton, for having us write blogs it has been a very unique experience and I might keep blogging even when school is over.

Graduation

The stress of graduation has piled high on me this week. I have three weeks left, some of my grades arent what I want them to be, and now I have to crack down and work really hard. I dont know if it will ever hit me that I'm graduating in just a month. Its kinda sad. My childhood school years are coming to an end. I'm relieved and I'm sad. I wish I had valued the time I had spent with my friends last year, I wish I had spent more tie with them. I really wish that I was still around all of them. I miss them so badly.I always wonder what would be differnet if I was still at MEBS instead of being homeschooled. I'm sure alot of things would be different, but I think its was God's will for me to be homeschooled this year.

Passion

Last week in my dad's sunday school class there was the cutest little boy I had ever seen. He was so sweet, and he would ask questions about what my dad was teaching and he was just so adorable, he was a little boy that rode the bus. At my church, I'm sad to say, the kids who's parents bring them to church are really snobby. It's always been that way, even when I was younger all my friends were mean to the bus kids. I was never mean to any of them, but I didnt take up for them and that's just as bad. Now I'm sympathetic to kids like that, who just try to come to church, and even at church they are bullied. After my dad finishes teaching we always give the kids a little candy bar. Two boys didnt go get theres so I grabbed them and brought it up to them, so the older kids wouldnt take them from them when they came in. One boy took his the other said he didn't like them. And then the sweet little boy just looked up at me with his brown eyes and asked if he could have another one. It broke my heart to see a little boy so sweet, I just wanted to hug him. At that moment I knew that I wanted to help kids like that, I want to be able to be nice to kids when no one is nice to them.

BAM! INSTO-FAME

So I'm sure you've heard of Rebecca Black, I mean who hasnt after last week. Her parents are loaded and she decided that she wanted to be a singer and since most singers now a days ( with the exception of the biebs ;)) are all using auto-tune, the magical thing that can make talentless people's voice even more horrible YAAAAAAAY :). So she decides she wants to be a singer and she writes this song that oh my gosh it dosnt even make since  " gotta have my bowl gotta get some cereal I walk out to the BUS STOP oh look theres my friends, which seat am I going to sit in? OMGGGG" like for real? Is this the garbage we , this generation, have come to accept? pathetic.

NEVER. SAY. NEVER

I will never say never! I will fight till forever, to make it right. Whenever you knock me down, I will not stay on the ground, pick it up and never say never. Now she's bigger than me and taller than me. And she's older than me and stronger than me, and her arms a little bit longer than me, but she aint singing JB songs with me. I be tryin chill, they be trying to solve with the thrill. No pun intended I was raised by the power of will. Like Luke with the force if push comes to shove, like Kobe in the fourth, Ice water cant flood. So we try to be the best and yes, we're the flyest. Like David and Goliath I conquered the giant. So now I got the world in my hand I was born from two stars so the moons where I land.

Pain

Ugh so today I had THE WORST headache. Oh my gosh it was awful. and so I had to go sit in my moms car during her last class because I was about to be sick, and I was just starting to feel better, than everyone was coming out to the car, I know they were just trying to be nice and were wanting to sit with me and stuff, but I dont think they realize I had a headache. Then my mom was just taking her time going home today, which she didnt know that my head was that bad. But it was so bad I was getting sick, then I knew I was going to puke. We were in the middle of traffic and everyone was screaming because they didnt want me to puke in the car, so my mom drives right in the middle of traffic and goes in the CVS parking lot. It was SO embarrassing because I had to puke in front of a whole line of traffic and everyone was looking. Most embarrassing thing ever. The poor CVS people.

Sun

I iwish the sun was out more like it was yesterday. It felt SO GOOD! I just wanted to run around like a little kid and play with balls and jump on the tramploine. Yesterdays weather was amazing! I miss summer. I cant wait till it gets here!

graduation

So, it seems I have "misplaced" another graduation item. I swear its like I'm not meant to graudate, and its really annoying because one day my tassles are sitting there and the next day tey are gone, I havent touhed them my mom hasnt touched them, but they somehow dissappear. This week is making me feel like a lost cloud, just floating around waiting for some other clouds but nothing shows up. I've had a rough week

Work

So last night I had to work and extra 2 hours, a work. I was so tired, along with a hurt leg. So, you can imagine a limp girl trying to walk all over the place, and do stuff, it was really bad. My boss didnt close unitl 45 minutes after we were already supposed to be closed. Last night I wanted to beat some people. That's all I'm saying.

School

School makes me so stressed.  Sometimes being homeschooled is really a god things but this week it hasnt been. I ordered 50 invitations for my graduation, and since I'm homeschooled I had to put my trust in the people in charge that they would give me what I ordered well, yesterday I was going through all of it and I had a big whopping 20 yes 20. Thats what I get for actually thinking someone was going to do their job, which really just goes to show that you really can trust in no one but yourself to get things done.

Formal

Last night was TEACH's formal. It was at the Bristol Train station, and it was the most fun I've had in the longest time. I really thought it was going to be very boring and I wouldn't have fun because I'm not very close to the people at co-op, but I was so wrong. Everyone there was so nice! I think maybe because we are at co-op and we're doing school work, its hard to become friends with people, but last night we were all dancing around and having fun together. Branching out and doing things that you would have never done really is a good thing to do.

Doubting Thomas

It seems like I am always doubting, no matter what situation I am in I always doubt. I doubt God's plans for my life I doubt what my friends say, I doubt whether or not things will work out. This December me and Carlie were invited to a Christmas party with all the other people we were graduating with, I was hesitant to go but Carlie said she was going, so I figured I would be alright. The day of the party, and of course Carlie had ditched, so that left me going by myself. I had RSVP'd so there was no way to get out of it and my mom was making me go. It was a rough car ride down there, I was doubting whether any of them would want to talk to me because I know they had already met each other, whereas this would be my first time meeting them. My mom was telling me it would be fun and I was doubting whether she was right or not. So I went to the party, and everyone was really nice, so sometimes you just have to trust that no one is trying to lead you down the wrong path or embarrass you or even make you feel bad, and Mom always knows best.

giaah

                                                                Homelife Academy

                                    Music for the future

                                    A project submitted to

                                         Mrs. Edwards

                                   In Partial Fulfillment of

                          The Requirements for the course

                                                       English 11

                                                             By

                                                 Rachel Edwards

                                                  Bristol, Virginia

                                                   3 March 2011

Today

Today is just like a very boring day. Somedays are filled with laugher and substance and today is just like one of those days that feels like it lasts forever, very boring, with nothing in it. But on quiet days like this, I can hear God's beauty all around me. I hear the pretty birds outside just chirping away, I hear the sound of a flying stinkbug (no matter how much I hate them) when you hear it, it just shows how amazing God is to create something so unique. The bright sky outside makes me thankful for the day. Its so pretty out there I just want to sit in the grass and read, or write a poem, or even just take a nap. So, if you look hard enough you can still find something great in a boring day.

Bucket List

I have so many things I want to do before I die, I am taking a genealogy class and for that class we had to make a bucket list and I have already marked some off the list.


The List


1. Go to a Justin Bieber concert & meet Justin Bieber
2. Go to New Zealand
3. Eat spaghetti under the eiffel tower
4. Get married
5. Fall in love again
6. Go see the great wall of china
7. go to a vineyard
8. Sing at Madison Square Garden (dont laugh I will do that Never Say Never ;) )
9. Be a successful person
10. Fulfill all my dreams


there are alot more .. but these are just a few.

my week

Monday

positive: I didnt have to work   negative: I had to go to co-op

Tuesday

positive: I had no school on tuesday  negative: I spent alot of money

Wednesday

positive: Carlie's birthday                  negative: I had to work

Thursday

positive: I got to drive alot                negative: I got honked at

Friday

positive: Health wasnt at my house   negative: A bunch of tests

Saturday

positive: Justin Bieber Never Say Never 3D  negative work on parkway

Sunday

positive: I finished all my work        negative: I had to stay late at work.

Feelings

What is that feeling? The one when you kiss someone you love or you read of two characters and they finally get together or you remember an amazing memory and it’s like your heart has a heatwave attack. Then it’s like your heart stops but the warm travels down through your stomach and stops there making you feel warm and fuzzy? What is that?! I mean I really want to know because it happens to me about 5,009,829,727,727,372,930 times a day. Yeah… Alot.

Alone

I’m probably more lost now then I’ve ever been. I don’t know where to go or what to do. I feel like my heart has been opened up for everyone to just stomp all over. And believe me, they have. I’ve loved and lost and I’ve felt lower than I do now but I’ve never felt so alone in the world. I wish I had a friend to talk to, or someone to hold my hand. But, I’ll never forget the users and haters. They say they make you stronger but I don’t think they really do. They just hurt.

Just Stuff

Do you ever just want to talk. Just spill out everything that’s going on inside of you.. Do you ever feel like you just hold so many things inside of you that you dont think you can stand to anymore? Well I am like that. All I ever do is hold in everything, truth is when i act like I’m strong and confident and that things don’t hurt me it’s usually a lie. No matter what it’s just like I can’t stop. I’m that girl who cried for hours November 14th when you did that to me. I’m the girl who would have waited a life time for you and you couldnt even wait a month, I was the girl who put up with your crap, who didn’t say anything when you flirted with other girls and you’d think that after a few months if I said something that I wouldn’t get punished like you punished me. I am sick of being in abusive relationships, usually it’s things I get my own self into l, and I hate that. Just for once in my life I want to be loved. I want a relationship not a status quo per say. I don’t want to go out with someone just so my Facebook won’t say single anymore. I just want to be loved , and I want a best friend who I can tell everything to. You may look at me and think that I’m this happy person but really all I am is alone and hurt. I wish so badly I could be with you .. No not you Joe… Screw you, I hate you. Another you, you know who you are. We are so similar it’s amazing, and I love that, and I really like you. I’m praying so hard that this will work out. But for now I’m just going to go on pretending, being the “happy” girl. Filling my duty. Until next time.. Stay classy San Diego haha jk jk #swag. Aight, peace.

The J word

November 14, 2009 I began a relationship with a boy named Joe. Ah, Joe. He was my best friend. We had everything in common and we had the most fun together. Somewhere along the way I fell in love. Most people say that your first love is a sweet experience. Mine started that way, but it did not end that way. I honestly didn't know it was possible to be as happy as I was. I didnt know that I was ever going to have someone love me back, and he did. Every single day was like a holiday. I had never been so happy. Somewhere along the way, if not the whole time, he started lying to me. And four months later we broke up. I broke up with him, because I was forced and a few short days later I was told that I was never loved in the first place, kinda a smack in the face. Then, I didnt know it was possible to be that hurt. To the point where you are continually asking God to just take your life, because you wonder if anything is real or is everything just a lie? March - April is just a big blur, I dont remember anything. I don't know if pain erased it all from my memory if I just force myself to forget. But I was pretty upset all the way till October. Then I heard a boy sing. His name was Justin Bieber. His words were so full of life and truth, and reminded me of the way things were when I was with Joe, the big huge hole in my heart was beginning to be filled. And by November I didnt love Joe anymore. People make fun of me, and people hate on me for liking Justin Bieber, but he pretty much made me me again, thats why I feel so strongly about him. You hate on him its like you are hating on Joe. So to this day Joe will always be a small little part of my heart that I dont think will ever be filled, but I dont mind that its not filled as long as I'm content in who I am. I'm so thankful that I even was able to experience love, and I pray that one day God will give me another chance.

Work

I've had a job since I was 14. At first I hated the idea of getting a job. So much that I cried the whole way to get my application and I cried the whole way home, then I cried the whole way to work my first day, and many days after that. Working at Dairy Queen sucks. Not gonna lie, it is probably the worst job a person can have. The boss is an evil witch! Ok maybe not an evil witch, but she is a very mean lady. Most people quit within their first few weeks, unfortunately I was there for over a year. But getting a job at a young age was actually a benefit. I learned how to communicate with other people and I learned alot about the way people act.

Friends

Friends

Friends are weird things. It may seem like a friend will last forever and then a month later you barely speek to a person. I think changing schools really opened up my mind about the way that people are. I realized that the people you think would be the most faithful don't even want a thing to do with you. And the friends that you barely made time for in the first place, are the only ones who stayed. I also learned that making friends is a very hard thing to do. I think at my old school it was alot easier cause I was in my natural environment, somewhere I felt normal, and secure. So, I didn't mind opening myself up to people. But, now I'm at a new school, with a bunch of very new people and I dont feel comfortable at all but, I've learned that the only way to get somewhere is to put yourself out there.

blog numero 1

kashjfas;dklfhaiohyaewoi